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My Book & My Dad

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I’ve not been close to my Dad for quite a few years, and I’m less than complimentary about him in my book, Musings on Love. My intention, however, is that readers see beyond the events I describe, and see the possibility of forgiveness, understanding, peace and love.

Because we’re not really close, I always feel he doesn’t know me very well. Although he's interested in me, he doesn't have much interest in my kind of work.

Having received a few copies of my book, naturally I wanted him to have a copy. Yet I was also concerned that I didn’t want to stir up old stories, given that we do now see each other and are at peace with each other.

Yesterday I got real honest with him, sharing with him about writing and publishing the book and about some of the stories in it. I suggested he might not like some of what is written. He was very gracious and accepting of that, and was still keen to have a copy. He reminded me that as a Dad and husband he had to make some decisions about loyalty that were difficult, and we both understood that there are some things we’ll perhaps never see eye-to-eye about.

He also reminded me how proud he is of all his children.
As I mention in the book, realising that our parents are perhaps not the kind of heroes we’d like them to be can be one of the hardest things about being an adult. And yet, all parents are heroes, in their own way.

I’m very happy to have gained a deeper understanding of my Dad through my work.

And he was very happy to lovingly accept a copy of a book yesterday, written by his son.

If you have a tenuous or even broken-down relationship with a friend or member of your family, never give up hope. If you are willing to look past behaviour, through forgiveness and be open to gaining a new understanding, so open that you are no longer interested in being right, there is always a way.

It is always possible to love your way into more loving relationships.