Stacks Image 77

Love Is.

Stacks Image 465
I saw a post today that suggested the way to know if you love someone is by not wanting them to change.

That might look true for some, but certainly not for me. Yes, I describe some attributes of this thing called love as absolute unconditional acceptance, and the acceptance piece is all about the absence of resistance. But to suggest that wanting someone to change means I do not love them is misguided at best. By the same token if I had a relative who was a drug addict, would wanting them to stop using drugs mean I didn't love them? Of course not.

When I had a puppy I really wanted it to stop peeing on my carpet. And my love for it was unconditional, matched in spades by its unconditional love for me.

The human condition is complex, and there is a constant dance at play between what the ego wants and what the heart sees. What my ego wants, of myself or another, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with what is in my heart. What my ego wants means nothing about who, what and how I love. Love just is.

I believe we all fundamentally want the best for each other, and that beyond the ego we all also do love each other.

To suggest I only love someone when there is nothing about them I want to change is an intellectually-pseudo-spiritual ideal.

I'm a little more human than that.