Loving Your Friends
I love and I am love, but I also see love as an activity, as a being. It is something we do and be. Much as being ‘in love’ is a transient feeling in a moment, there is a way I love my friends that is also transient, in the moment, when I hold them in my thoughts, as well as my heart.
How can I love my friends without a thought about them?
I can’t claim to love the children orphaned by ebola in Africa unless I have them in my thoughts. I can have love for them, always, because I have infinite capacity to love, but am I actively loving them if I am not thinking of them? I don’t think so. When I tell someone I am loving them it is because they are in my thoughts with love.
If we don’t think of our friends we are not loving them, other than having some capacity to do so.
How often are you so busy enjoying or simply attending to your job or latest career endeavour that you don’t get to hear your friends desperate struggle with theirs? How often are you completely unaware how your friend feels about being recently separated from his girlfriend because you are so busy making plans for when you next see yours?
When was the last time you called a friend simply because you wanted to know how they are doing and what they are up to, and moreover is there anything they’d like you to do for them? Would they like you to be there for them?
How often do you simply assume your friends are ok, and how often do you even actively think that?
I encourage you to read this without a defence, I am certainly writing it without one. In as much as this is for you I am writing this for me and to me too. I have a few friends whom I wait to make contact with me because it has almost always been me contacting them. That is not coming from love. It is just some lame game I play with my self image and judgemental expectations. It also means we have a completely passive friendship that is not nourished by love.
I intend on changing that. I intend on making loving an activity. I intend on actively loving my friends. I so wish I knew when my friends were at least thinking of me and I intend on ensuring my friends know when I am simply thinking of them too. In being the change I want to see I’ll let my friends know I love them, whatever each of us is up to. And even if that contact is by a simple comment here on Facebook by you, my dear friend, I’ll let you know that too.
Are you also willing to be active in loving your friends?