I'm not really interested in who you think you are.

Many coaches will work with you on your creation of some ‘better self', have you work on being Batman rather than Robin, help you take your place at the top of some made up league table of comparison, and create beliefs that have you ‘step into who you need to be’ so that you can feel good, comfortable, or even confident when you think of yourself.

Confidence - a.k.a. the ability to have your self-critic shut the f**k up for a while. Very important should you ever choose to listen to your self-critic...

You can expend much effort and growth in creating a new world for yourself which ultimately has its foundation built upon a new version of the image you have of yourself. Creating a new you so often only means creating a new self-image. For many this will serve a great purpose. If you’ve had ‘low self-esteem’ (basically a low opinion of your ‘self', a less-than complimentary image of your ‘self') why not create a more loving and better one?

Occasionally some might suggest you should display more aspects of your self, masqueraded as being vulnerable. Yet, is it truly vulnerable to display your self-image in a way that might have it exposed to being attacked or destroyed? There’s only one person who cares about your self-image, and the clue is in the name. To everyone else it doesn’t even exist. How can the non-existent be vulnerable?

Lady Gaga laying in a wild safari park whilst wearing her meat dress. Now, that's vulnerable!

Many coaches will work with you to have you feel more courageous, exert much effort to grapple and overcome all your made-up fears. Yet fears can only exist within the realm of a self image and ego. Courage is only as real as the fear that demands it. Without fear, courage is an unnecessary concept that many use to continue to work on themselves, their self, as some self-created, self-centric, self-improvement project.

Self, self, self, self, self…..

All this work on your image of your self will always be a never ending project. The part of you that judges you and creates an image of you is only capable of judgement. Your self-image can only judge because it is only made of judgement. As you break through one layer so another will appear. If you decide you are Batman, your self-image will judge you as Batman.

Yet you are not your self-image.

The cake is not what you think of the cake. Why work on what you think of the cake?

Some coaches might even have you go back into the story of your past and talk with the image you had of yourself as a child. ‘Lets take some time to look back at when you first formed this opinion of the cake.'

Does that even make sense to you?

There is only one person you need to be in this world. That’s the person who is you when you are not trying to be somebody, who you are when you are not even trying to be some created vision of yourself.

What’s it like to be you when you are not trying to be somebody?

What’s it like to be you without your 'made-up-self?’

Almost everyone whom I have asked this question answers emphatically: “Free!” Yes, freedom! Freedom from the self. Freedom from your opinion of your self.

Without any judgement of the self, what is left? Love.

Love is the freedom that is in your heart. Love is the wisdom already in your heart that will hold you and guide you, irrespective of what made-up opinion you have of yourself.

I invite you to stop believing your opinion of yourself even matters or needs to be fixed. It doesn’t, if you choose to no longer have it be any concern of yours. If you choose to listen to your heart instead.

Get over (the image you have of) your self.