The Most Potent Force in Leadership
I recently had a conversation with someone who worked with me in my previous career. She had a powerful question for me.
Before I became a full-time coach, I had a very successful career in I.T. I took on my first leadership role in my early twenties and progressed up the ‘corporate ladder’ working with various organisations including SMEs, local and central government, and blue-chip organisations at board level.
It was embodying the role of a leader from which I gained so much growth, fulfilment, challenge and joy. Helping people develop in their own careers in ways that served both them and the organisation was always the most rewarding aspect of my work. Indeed, when I came across the concept of coaching, I realised I had already been doing exactly that -my own form of coaching - in these leadership roles.
Once on the call, my friend, who had previously been a member of my team, explained that she had a question that had puzzled her for a while, and when she talked about it with her husband, he simply said, “Why don’t you just ask him?”
Her question?
“Phil, when we worked together, everyone loved you. I have been trying to figure out really why that was. What did you do exactly and how did you do that?”
Touched, of course, as I was, I also knew it was true. I always felt blessed with who was part of my team. People followed me not just from one department, project or assignment to another, but also from one company or organisation to another.
How did I ‘do that’?
“Well” I said, “it’s probably much simpler than you imagine.”
“People loved me because I loved them.”
I always loved the people in my team. Whenever anyone joined or transferred in, I would take them aside for a one-on-one conversation. As they sat opposite me I would tell them “Okay, I’m going to tell you THE most important thing I want for you whilst you are in this team.”
They’d often shuffle their notepad at this moment, maybe even get slightly nervous at the importance of the point I was about to share.
“Are you ready?” I’d ask, as they held pen to notepad in anticipation.
“Yes, yes, Phil, tell me.”
Here it was…
“I want you to be happy!”
That was it.
Most often a little stunned, always surprised, the person opposite me would often look quite puzzled and wonder if I was being serious.
“This is absolutely the most important thing for me whilst you are here. I want you to be happy, and I want to support you in any way I can to ensure that is the case.”
I then went on to explain how being happy always has us produce our best work, and how fundamental it is to the harmony of any team. Our discussions at the point often varied, depending on how willing my participant was to go deeply into this kind of conversation.
I knew that my fundamental reason for being was to ensure the happiness and hence harmony and productivity of my team, and my team-members always felt I was in their corner, that I saw them, valued them as the real people they were. They knew I saw them as so much more than a just members of the team, I saw them as individuals with their own lives, challenges and dreams.
One testimonial given to me when I left that organisation included the John Quincy Adams quote, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader,” with the addition, “You are a great leader, Phil, an inspiration, a motivation, a joy to work with. We will miss you.”
Love is, perhaps, the most underemployed power in the corporate environment. Yet, in my experience, it is THE most potent force for success, beyond any training or professional development.
Yes, my teams always loved me. My teams always knew I loved them.
I’m blessed to experience love in my coaching career too. I love my clients intensely, for it is the greatest foundation for all leadership, be it in the corporate world, coaching, or intimate personal self-leadership.
Love your teams, love your clients, and most of all, love you. Allow your own happiness. Love and happiness are THE most contagious forms of leadership.
Lead with love.